"Didja Pee A Little?"

I wish I could say that was a cute little camp song that I can't get out of my head now that summer is upon us. But alas, it is not. It is what my husband, CJ, says to me not once, not twice, but countless times a day. What makes it all the more tragic is that when I say "yes" he laughs- lovingly and I hope sympathetically, but he still gets a giggle from it.

That is because in conjunction with summer comes hay fever which translates into LOTS of sneezing for me. And now thanks to whatever powers that be, I pee myself a little -- about 90% of the time I sneeze. 

 
Fortunately it's not noticable, I mean I don't look like poor Fergie during a Black Eyed Pea concert or anything, but I KNOW what just happened and that's enough.

You have no idea how I wish this was just a bit for my comedy act, but it's freakin' true. It's also another thing my loving "already-mommy" friends neglected to share with me. Sure they told me that AFTER the baby is born things "down stairs" won't be the exact same as they were PB (pre-baby), but NO ONE told me this s#!t was going to start before the kid popped out.

I literally now carry a spare change of panties in my purse- just in case. Before this was something I did only when traveling just in case my luggage was lost. (BTW that's an awesome tip for anyone who has ever to check luggage. It's also wise to carry-on an extra bra too- 'cause you never know when the airlines are going to F- it up. Just like peeing yourself it happens when you least expect it!)

Now, I look at ads for products like Poise that Whoopi Goldberg does and I'm like, "Um, Jessica Simpson or Tori Spelling should really be one of their spokesmodels- that would be just as realistic and it wouldn't make women like me who aren't menopausal yet feel bad. And I do feel bad- I feel like I should be able to control it, but I can't. I dread sneezing, but I can't hold them in especially when it's triggered by allergies.

Yes, it's TRUE Brook Burke and I now have something in common

The ONLY thing that does make me feel better is knowing that women who look amazing, have had tons of kids and seem to have it all- like say Brooke Burke- every time she coughs uncontrollably, laughs too hard or screams "Ah-choo" she has without a doubt peed herself a little too.

I'll be honest that definitely helps me sleep at night.

Ah, The Joys of Little Boys

Snakes and snails and puppy dog tails- that's what I was told little boys were made of...and girls are supposed to be made of sugar and spice and everything nice, right? While I don't believe that applies to all boys or all girls, it was enough to warrant my leaning toward wanting daughters- ONLY daughters for the majority of my life. It didn't help that my younger brother who I adored as a baby (and love very much now) broke and destroyed all of my favorite things and toys when he became mobile. That was enough put me on the fast track for "Team Pink." 

But over the past few months since I finding out I was pregnant I've truly become okay with the idea of having a son. The reality is that it's going to be one or the other. Either way it's your child and you will love it. My husband, CJ, really wants a boy, at least for our first child, then he's open to whatever. The idea has gained more popularity with me as the weeks have progressed and it seemed like every dream I've had about the baby suggests it is going to be a boy. 

However, as of this weekend I'm having second thoughts as to whether or not I can do "the boy thing".  Saturday night we went to our friends house for dinner. A ridiculously fun and attractive couple and their two little boys who are six and three years old. CJ, refers to the younger as a "Putin sleeper cell" because the mother is a stunning Russian woman and the baby one time removed 80-90% of the keys from my husbands laptop in like 90 seconds flat.

I will say this though, for high energy young boys they were incredibly well-behaved, they played without making a raucous and they weren't overly rambunctious. They even sat at the dinner table with all the adults and didn't act up. I was quite impressed- that is until bath time. The boys were upstairs by themselves for maybe 5 minutes while we were getting ready for dessert. When out of no where the baby (okay he's 3 but you know what I mean) starts screaming bloody murder. At first he was shrieking so intensely I thought he was laughing, but his mother assured me (as all mothers know their kid's cry) he was upset. So the husband went upstairs to see what happened. He was gone for about 5 minutes and came back down with this ridiculous grin on his face.

Apparently while taking their bath the older one thought it was too much trouble to remove himself from the tub to use the toilet so he stood up and peed right in the tub. In doing so, accidentally or not (we don't have proof, but we did get an admission), he hit his younger brother on the shoulder with the stream; and while he found it amusing the baby understandably did not. (Can you blame him?)

The mother of the children asked if her husband made it clear to both sons that that was not okay behavior. I nodded in agreement. And the husbands- mine included, for the next few minutes made jokes about knowing that at least the kid wasn't going to be into golden showers. Men are so mature sometimes.

I didn't have anything to say as it wasn't my kid(s) but I did turn to my husband and said, "See, this would never happen with girls!"