Green-eyed Monster Mondays

Welcome to "Green-eyed Monster Mondays- Who I'm Jealous of Today & Why?"
Today the prize goes again to my dog and my  husband because it seems like either of them can crap on cue.

 And just about anywhere. It's disgusting, but I ache to do that too- literally. It bemoans me to even have to bring this topic up as I am a Southern lady and bodily functions- especially removing one's toxic waste is not polite conversation. But as I've since found out being pregnant throws a lot of the everyday niceties and inhibition about taboo subjects right out the window. Pregnancy makes you GET REAL, real fast. Albeit I wasn't always the most "regular" person to begin with, but apparently hormones mixed with iron from the pre-natal vitamins and folic acid hinders as opposed to helps the "flow of traffic" if you will. I have been drinking water like a track star, consuming dried fruit like my name is Mabel and eating so much Raisin Bran they should seriously consider making me a paid spokesperson. So if you would be so kind- please say a little prayer for me and my colon we would both thankyouverymuch!

Green-eyed Monster Mondays- Who I'm Jealous of Today & Why

My husband, CJ, and our dog, Lealah, are at the top of this list today. I do love them both- more than I love chocolate, but I envy the hell out of them right now. When we all get into bed-  no exaggeration, it literally takes 2.8 seconds and BAM! they are both asleep. WTF? From where did they get this super power? Do they not have thoughts? Do they not have to need to reflect on the day that just was- what could have, should have, would have been different if they'd done A,B,C or D? Do they not find it odd that they've not heard from certain friends since the wedding even via a "Like" or quick post on Facebook? (And by the way the dog does have her own Facebook page- so this should be an issue for her too!) 

Okay, maybe I do have too much time on my hands, maybe a need to take a page from them and just chillax OR maybe I'm just a woman from the Homosapien Genus Species- and I'm normal and they're normal. It's just not fair 'cause while they're sawing logs right now at 3:13am I've got a million and one thoughts going through my head while I type this. I'm not only writing this blog, but planning the dinner menu for the rest of the week, balancing my checkbook in my head, thinking about which bookers I need to contact back in LA for comedy spots. Ah, to be a man or a dog! Hell, I have no idea what that would be like, but I do know if I were either I'd be asleep right now and not giving a rat's ass about gnocchi or The Comedy Store.