Today the prize goes again to my dog and my husband because it seems like either of them can crap on cue.
Showing posts with label fiber. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fiber. Show all posts
Monday, April 16, 2012
Green-eyed Monster Mondays
Welcome to "Green-eyed
Monster Mondays- Who I'm Jealous of Today & Why?"
Today the prize goes again to my dog and my husband because it seems like either of them can crap on cue.
And just about anywhere. It's disgusting, but I ache to do that too- literally. It bemoans me to even have to bring this topic up as I am a Southern lady and bodily functions- especially removing one's toxic waste is not polite conversation. But as I've since found out being pregnant throws a lot of the everyday niceties and inhibition about taboo subjects right out the window. Pregnancy makes you GET REAL, real fast. Albeit I wasn't always the most "regular" person to begin with, but apparently hormones mixed with iron from the pre-natal vitamins and folic acid hinders as opposed to helps the "flow of traffic" if you will. I have been drinking water like a track star, consuming dried fruit like my name is Mabel and eating so much Raisin Bran they should seriously consider making me a paid spokesperson. So if you would be so kind- please say a little prayer for me and my colon we would both thankyouverymuch!
Today the prize goes again to my dog and my husband because it seems like either of them can crap on cue.
Saturday, April 7, 2012
All Stopped Up and No Way to Go
You ever hear of that children's book "Everyone Poops"? Well, I'm here to counter that book/statement with a resounding, "No- no they f*cking don't!"
Not everyone poops- at least not when they want to. Right now, I unfortunately rank at the top of that list and I can't really take anything for it except more water, exercise, veggies & fiber which I'm doing but sometimes all that does is make me a human whoopee cushion- (see "Just call me Gaseous Clay" entry). Now granted, I didn't start off as the most "regular" individual- but now it's like I'm in the Mohave Desert of bowel movements. Take my normal frequency then add the extra iron from the prenatal pills and the folic acid ('cause one can never be too careful) and voila- what do you get? A woman who if she came across a genie in a bottle would use one of those three incredibly valuable wishes to Cleanse. My. Colon. No s#!t.
Not everyone poops- at least not when they want to. Right now, I unfortunately rank at the top of that list and I can't really take anything for it except more water, exercise, veggies & fiber which I'm doing but sometimes all that does is make me a human whoopee cushion- (see "Just call me Gaseous Clay" entry). Now granted, I didn't start off as the most "regular" individual- but now it's like I'm in the Mohave Desert of bowel movements. Take my normal frequency then add the extra iron from the prenatal pills and the folic acid ('cause one can never be too careful) and voila- what do you get? A woman who if she came across a genie in a bottle would use one of those three incredibly valuable wishes to Cleanse. My. Colon. No s#!t.
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