Am I Pushing My Fetus Too Hard?

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Get it! Baby Einstein

I hate copping to this, but I think I might be pushing my unborn baby too hard already. I've definitely got the essentials going to help Baby Bean get ahead in life. I mean what mother doesn't want their little nugget at the head of the "baby class".  

 So while I've had the opportunity  to take advantage of my 3 free months of Sirius/XM in Baby Bean's new car we've been indulging in in the Comedy Channels (of course), the Classical music station and even more NPR than regular! I've also been ready to Baby Bean from the baby and children's books that have started to come in as shower gifts.

I've been taking the recommended supplements both my doctor and midwife suggests from my Raw Prenatal Vitamins to the extra iron to strengthen my blood supply, the calcium magnesium for our bones (and to keep me regular) and Vitamin D- 'cause I'm deficient in that area period. Oh and just to be safe DHA for Baby Bean's brain development. (Forever I was calling it DHL- but my darling husband corrected me when he said with a crinkled face, "Isn't that the delivery service?" 

My faux pas aside and the very reason for this blog entry is because one of the very first purchases CJ and I made when we first found out we were prego was this:

I knowah!  Not a car seat, a crib, a baby blanket or  pack 'n snack (as CJ refers to the Pack n' Play)- but a child ready toilet seat. The kid's not even in diapers let alone ready to come out of them yet! Although if CJ had his way this baby will be toilet trained by 6 months- like the Russians apparently like to do. (See My Child a Future NASCAR Driver?! WTF?!) 

Part of me gets it although part of me thinks it's just wrong- like of like Chuck E. Cheese. Sure, it's your intentions are good- yet the experience could be traumatizing. And let's be honest sometimes things can happen too soon in life- like a giant rat is serving you pizza. Am I wrong?

INS = Itchy Nipple Syndrome

That's right, the INS I'm referring to in the title of this e-mail stands for something entirely different NOW! And it has NOTHING to do with immigration or legalities or insurance, but rather with one of our most precious assets Ladies, well, technically two of our most precious assets.

I'm talking about "The Girls". The tah-tahs, Laverne & Shirley, Thelma & Louise, or as I like to call them my Preciouses. This blog entry isn't about them per se but more about what happens to them when one gets pregnant. Sure they grow and expand- that's to be expected, but what caught me off guard was that they were going to itch like hell. Itchy Nipple Syndrome- the new INS- is serious and it affects more women than we know. Part of what has me up in arms about INS is that NO ONE, not ONE single friend mentioned this might be a side affect of getting knocked-up. Which leads me to my next issue which is that no one has dared to suggest or offer a cure.

I think it's almost cruel that we are letting our sisters down about this. And I'm kinda pissed off that I had to hear about a way to remedy this symptom not just from a man, but two men. And not just two men, but two male comedians on none other than the Blue Collar Radio network on Sirius/XM. I don't recall who one of them was but the other is my dear friend Larry The Cable Guy. In both their acts they referenced using cabbage leaves to help with this uncomfortable and annoying condition. I was shocked! Shocked! But I'm willing to try it. 

My Darling husband, CJ (Bless his heart) suggested that it may in fact just be propaganda from the cabbage farmers to get women to buy more cabbage. Yes, sadly I did dignify his theory with a response. I said, "So you think it's like the dairy farmers and industry who try to convince the general public that milk give you more calcium than other foods and helps you build stronger bones?" CJ said, "Yes, exactly!" (Head shaking). 

All I know is next Tuesday guess who's going to the local farmers market and coming home with a head of cabbage. The only thing is I don't know whether to get the red or green kind. A smart woman would get both and just use the left over for cold slaw. Right?

***So fyi I'm in a contest for the 25 Top Mom Blogs of NY- I would SO appreciate your vote ONLY a 10 days left. You don't have to give any personal info just click the button: http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-New-York-Moms-2012?trk=t25_Top-25-New-York-Moms-2012

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