Meconium, Pitocin and Perineums OH MY?!!

Meconium, Pitocin, and perineum should ALL be SAT words as far as I'm concerned. Talk about words I hadn't given thought to much less ever heard before I got knocked up. Yet, these three things have captivated me this past week while I've been diligently studying and reading my Dr. Sears book: "The Birth Book: Everything You Need to Know to Have a Safe and Satisfying Birth."

Since I love you, I'll start off slow 'til we're all on the same page. For those who aren't doctors, have never given birth to a baby or aren't close to anyone who has given birth you probably have no idea what meconium is.

If I were a contestant on Jeopardy and it came up I'd say, "Give me minerals for $500 Alex!" C'mon, doesn't it sound like something rich you'd find buried deep beneath the Earth's surface? Wrong! It's actually something rich you'd find deep inside your baby and it comes out hopefully after the baby is born otherwise this toxic waste could mean trouble and danger for baby if swallowed. If all goes well it comes out into your baby's diaper after a day or so out in the new world. I'll spare you a visual, but if you can imagine a black tar like blobby substance that obliterates a Huggie then you've pictured it correctly. Since I owe you the due diligence of being accurate, here is the exact definition  from the University of Maryland Medical Center: the first bowel movement a baby has is called meconium. Meconium is composed of amniotic fluid, mucus, lanugo (the fine hair that covers the baby's body), bile, and cells that have been shed from the skin and the intestinal tract. Meconium is thick, greenish black, and sticky. 
Hence why you want this coming out AFTER the baby has come out.

Now let's address Pitocin. It sounds like a drug because it is one, but I think it sounds like a "happy" drug kind of like Prozac- but it's not- it's a drug designed to help your body mimic labor. Pitocin is the synthetic version of the hormone Oxytocin which our bodies naturally create. Oxytocin is a "feel good" hormone that helps trigger contractions. Because it gives you a bit of a high when you're dealing with such a, shall we say uncomfortable physical experience, it actually helps you with the pain. When you are in labor naturally, your body responds to the contractions and Oxytocin with the release of endorphins, a morphine like substance that helps prevent and counteract pain. When you receive Pitocin, your body does not know to release the endorphins, despite the fact that you are in pain. Pitocin has it's purpose for sure, but from what I've read so far it is to be given to mothers who are way overdue or who have been laboring so long they're completely exhausted and can't trigger the Oxytocin on their own. When you're given Pitocin and don't really require it it makes the contractions come harder and faster than your body would do it on it's own generally causing so much discomfort you'd gladly trade one of your husband's testicles for an epidural.

And for our final new word of the day, let's take a deep breath. At lunch today one of my gay best friends knew exactly what I was talking about when I said the word perineum, cause he got this big ol' smile across his face. According to Wikipedia the perineum is generally defined as the surface region in both males and females between the pubic symphysis and the coccyx. The perineum is the region of the body inferior to the pelvic diaphragm and between the legs. Or in good old fashion basic hard core English it's often referred to as the "taint." Let me use in in a sentence for you. "It 'taint the front and it 'taint the back". I won't be showing that image here, but if you still don't know what I'm talking about just do a Google image search.

The best part is that I've been instructed by my midwives and all the books I've been reading to either massage my perineum on my own or have my darling husband, CJ on task.  Apparently 10-15 minutes a day should do the trick. This will not only help loosen me up getting me ready for a natural child birth so there's not as much stretching and pain down there, but it'll also make it MUCH easier for Baby Bean to come into the world. Since it's getting a tad more difficult for me to reach guess who has a new chore. But I have a sneaking suspicion he'll enjoy this task way more than mowing the lawn.

Apparently Midwife is a BAD Word...

***So I'm in a contest for the 25 Top Mom Blogs of NY- would SO appreciate your vote ONLY a 13 days left. You don't have to give any personal info just click the button: http://www.circleofmoms.com/top25/Top-25-New-York-Moms-2012?trk=t25_Top-25-New-York-Moms-2012

I say this because as soon as I told my doctor that I had a midwife and was planning to use her. She gave me an attitude like I'd just dropped the C-bomb in her office. 

My doctor's demeanor completely changed; she went from this super-friendly lady I'd met 6 months ago to Omarosa. She didn't come right out and say, "So, Karith when did you become a traitor to the medical profession?" But she did ask me what my reasoning was. When I proclaimed that I wanted to do as natural a birth as possible, you would have thought I'd just removed my panties and peed right there on her floor (something that could have happened had I sneezed too hard - see: Didja Pee A Little?) Then to add insult to injury I said, "Plus I don't want to be shot up with Pitocin if I don't need it." Well, that was the dump on her floor heard 'round the world.

Since becoming pregnant and trying to do as much research as we could without becoming overly obsessed (which can happen) my husband CJ and I have found that there is a HUGE disparity between how women should be allowed to have babies in America and what years of medicine and the people who practice medicine want women to give birth. And what it seems to come down to is $$$ MONEY $$$ and a matter of convenience for doctors. 

It's not just my opinion- it's fact- women are NOT meant to be lying flat on their backs pushing a 6 -10lb baby out of their vaginas. The pelvis gets in the way big time and makes it harder and more painful for the body to do what it was designed to do.

We're supposed to squat or lie on our sides or contort our bodies to the most comfortable positions we can like MOST women outside of America currently do now and how women have been doing it for centuries. We're only supposed to have cesarean sections when absolutely necessary- not for convenience- the doctors or our own designer baby birthdates. 

It is MAJOR surgery meant to save either the woman's life or the life of the baby. (It also happens to be faster and more money can be made from doing them.) I'm not judging anyone who chooses to do it that way. It absolutely should be "your body, your choice"; but it's not set up that way in hospitals today.

After making dozens of calls I couldn't find ONE SINGLE hospital in NYC or SoCal that would let me a) use a birthing bar or b) have Baby Bean in water. Hence why we made the decision going to a birthing center and pay thousands of dollars out of pocket. But ironically what we're paying is still 1/4 of what the hospitals charge and the insurance pays. So you'd think from a financial standpoint insurance companies would be behind midwifery 110%. So not the case and it's SO incredibly frustrating when you really get to look at the facts and stats. 

Here's the deal: hospitals are for SICK people and EMERGENCIES - I visited them frequently as a patient while a teenager so I can speak to this. Having a baby is one of THE most natural things that can happen and if it's treated that way- not rushed because Dr. So-and-so wants to go on get to the Katy Perry concert on time or go vacay a little early. Don't get me wrong I 100% believe hospitals have their place which is why I won't be more than 15 minutes from one when Baby Bean does come into the world. 

But I don't want someone rushing me OR my baby. I don't want extra bacteria exposure (because hospitals ARE for sick people!) I don't want drugs shot into me to make my contractions come harder and faster because America's Got Talent Finals are on. I don't want florescent lights shining down on me and Baby Bean when we're trying to be as relaxed as possible. I also don't want different strangers coming in and out of my room telling me what I should and shouldn't be doing.

Not ACTUALLY Karith & CJ, but the image we hope to capture.

I want to be free to move around, to have my husband behind me, rubbing my back and loving me and cheering me on in a giant tub of warm water. (We're Cancerians- so nothing could be more soothing). I want to be comfortable and fully cognizant when I'm experiencing the most magical amazing thing I will EVER do on this planet. And I want more than anything to bring a happy healthy alert baby into the world. I pray that that isn't just my birth "plan" but reality. And I hope that everyone has or has had an equally wonderful birth experience.