Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Yes, I'll Have a Slippery Nipple Please!

Bartender, I’ll take a Slippery Nipple please- as in the awesome shot that's part Bailey's, part Kahlua, part Butterscotch Schnapps- as opposed to the itchy ones I've got now. Trust me, I can't believe it either.
 This being my 1st ever pregnancy my world has been turned on it's side. My body is reacting in crazy ways I didn't know possible to what is "still" an itty-bitty creature of a miracle inside of me. Aside from asthma and bouts with allergies I've been blessed with a pretty good health. (Thank God!) Although when I was younger for years I did have to deal with a terrible case of Eczema. Sometimes it would itch so much and I would scratch so badly that my mother would have to put socks on me when I went to bed so I wouldn't hurt myself. 
Well, right now I feel like I'm reverting back to those days. There are moments when I feel if someone caught me scratching as rabidly as I'd like to they be like, "Aw that poor junkie- but she looks so healthy & well-dressed to be a junkie- that's even more of a shame!" Y'all everything itches- but mostly my legs and get this, my nipples. Um, not cool! Sure, you can publicly bend down and soothe any itch below your waist that's not in your crotch region. Most people will even forgive a quick butt scratch- no biggie. But you can't really go to town and get your "scratch on" when what's itching is your REAL Victoria's Secret and you don't want it revealed. 

When the "girls" are setting you in fits there is NO WAY to quell the situation in public, well, at least not without looking like a perv doing "tune in Tokyo" on yourself. And it's not like it's something you can explain to people who may happen to catch you doing it. I mean what are you supposed to do? Coyly smile and pretend like you're removing bothersome lent from your top? I have no more words and unfortunately no solutions for this issue at hand or dare I say at breast, but, "Thank you Mother Nature. Thank you for this fun little pearl of pregnancy I wasn't expecting."


  1. lol, the joys of growing boobs! soon the leaking will start, think the itching is embarrassing, wait until people stare at your blouse, you look down and VIOLA- 2 nicely wet spots on each boob! GLAMOROUS!

    1. Oh, joy! Can't wait for that magic to happen. Thanks for the heads up! :-)