Friday, April 6, 2012

The REAL Crying Game

The Crying Game isn't just the name of a movie that freaked some men out so badly they had to reassess their sexual identity. It's also what my husband & I have nicknamed one facet of my hormone surges. In our crying game there's also the shocking element of surprise- what is it that will make me tear up or have a complete meltdown?

The couple weeks before I took my pregnancy test were pretty rough on both CJ and me. We had just returned from what was supposed to be our dream wedding & honeymoon in Nicaragua and it was up until 2 days before we left. Thanks to ex-NBA idiot Travis Knight's staff at Villa Noche I was robbed of everything valuable that I had with me except for my engagement ring & wedding band. Since we only left the house for 3 hours one evening there's no question that it was one of the full-time staff members who had a hand in the theft of my laptop (as a writer and comedian you know my life was on there), my wallet containing everything from my driver's license, insurance cards etc-you know, all the fun things to replace. I also lost the remainder of cash I'd brought down, wedding present gift cards etc. And the kicker was that whoever had gone through my things also stole all of the jewelry I'd brought down and most upsetting the jewelry I wore on my wedding day which included a broach from my deceased grandmother. As you can imagine I was a mess for weeks- couldn't sleep, had nightmares an erratic appetite.

Now that I have 20/20 hindsight what I now know is that I was also in my first couple of weeks of pregnancy while this madness was going on.  I was just starting to recover from the trauma of being robbed and feeling violated when the VERY first hormone surge happened. It started off innocently enough under the guise of a sweet conversation. I paid my very handsome husband a compliment on his dashing good looks. Because he's not a self-centered ass he coyly replied that I needed glasses. I rebutted with the fact that I had perfect vision because I happen to love eating carrots. Then I asked as a sidebar, "Have you every seen a rabbit wearing glasses?"

To which he replied- "No, but I know of some rabbits who could use them." CJ then proceeds to tell me how a certain population of rabbits in Australia have fallen prey to a degenerative disease that causes them to lose their eyesight- thus losing their bearings making them super easy prey for predators AND cars. All I'm thinking as a former pet rabbit owner is that these sweet little bunnies are being murdered left and right and becoming roadkill! I'm a Cancerian which means I'm already hyper-sensitive ergo I have the innate ability to get emotional at the drop of a dime. It's embarrassing to admit, but I cry every time I watch the movie Independence Day. Yes, the movie about the alien invasion of the Earth starring Will Smith. But this news CJ shared with me about these seeing impaired bunnies which would normally just unnerve me sent me plum over the edge. In about 2.9 seconds I went from smiling at my husband's sweetness to sobbing uncontrollably for a good 10 minutes. As my father famously said to my mother- my husband then said to me, "Either you're crazy or you're pregnant!" Two days later after I took the test- turns out he was right- but probably on both charges.

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