Saturday, June 9, 2012

No Baby On Board Here!

Now, before anyone gets alarmed. Everything's fine. The title for this blog is not me alluding to anything being wrong with the pregnancy or baby. So everyone can relax. I'm kind of poking fun at that suction cupped placard that people used to put in their car windows to ward off aggressive drivers. 

Remember how it was all the rage in the 90's? I still think it caused more eye rolls than anything (from me at least). It was like, duh, you're in a minivan and you've got a Teletubbies sunshade- you'd better have a baby on board. Otherwise you're a stoner or just creepy. 

If anything I will probably have a sunshade but I will not be sharing what's "on board" because as of right now I may not even let my kid in my car. I'm serious! Y'all, it's awful! I am currently suffering from "New Car-itis." It's caught me totally off guard as this is something I've never experienced before because never in my entire 30+ years on this earth have I had a new car. In fact, I've never owned a car that was "born" in the same decade I was living in- so I am overdue.  I think that's also why this is SO huge for me and I'm having such extreme symptoms of "New Car-itis". I knew it would feel and smell good, but what I didn't know was that some of the side effects of having a new car include but are not limited to: 
  • Being paranoid when someone parks too close to you.  
  •  Parking far away from people with crappy cars who you know don't care how hard and wide they open their doors.
  • Not wanting any food or beverage (opened or not) in your vehicle. That counts double for aromatic foods that will taint your "new car" smell. 
  • Not wanting anyone else but you to drive it- including your husband who's helping to pay for it. 
  • And lastly you don't want anyone and I mean ANYONE messy in it.

The last one is an issue, because we essentially just bought this car for the baby. Here's the problem- I just had the realization last night that don't want my baby or any baby for that matter in my new car! Babies are messy, they throw up, they poop and pee all over, and due to their very limited manual dexterity they spill stuff. So without question this child- who is already in line to be one of the loves of my life is going to ruin my 1st ever brand new car! What a conundrum I'm in.

I'm not saying what I'm feeling is "right", but it's honest- that's what I do on this blog. I also realize that I've got several more months to enjoy having this car to myself. I'm sure by the time the "Baby Bean" comes, I'll be ready just to have him or her in the world and I'll give a rat's ass about the car. At least I'm praying that will be the case. Or I can go all "Mitt Romney" and strap the little sucker to the top of my car. Kidding! I'm totally kidding!!!


  1. You're not totally off base! We shopped for some much needed furniture recently and my thoughts were somewhere along the lines of "That's too nice to get baby-puke on it... let's buy something cheaper!" ;-)

    My only suggestion (yes, completely unsolicited) is to air out the car as much as possible. The glues and materials they use in new cars can give off toxic fumes for a long time, so drive with the windows open and - contrary to what most people do - get rid of that "new car" smell!

  2. Hahahaha, Karith, last summer i got to rent a new 2012 Mustang.....yeah....i wouldn't let anyone else drive it, and not just cause it was a rental. I never had one of those "Baby on Board" signs, instead i got as a joke "This car is carrying a princess, outta the way!", which turns out to be funnier than i realized. Lala is more diva than princess but if the shoe fits...ha! Don't worry though, you'll let the baby in.

    I do know a few items that might be helpful for this dilemma. They have these seat covers that go under car seats, they even have little pockets in the front to store stuff. AND....their waterproof! Perfect for kids and dogs. And, here's a small tip, if your looking to save money in the long run, find a good carseat that can be both infant, baby, toddler, and regular booster seat or you could end up spending hundreds on different seats. We ended up having to buy two booster seats a couple of months ago because the toddler seats that supposedly went up to 80lbs made Lala uncomfortable since it made her feet dangle too awkwardly.