Tuesday, May 1, 2012

The Pillsbury Dough Boy's Got Nothin' On Me

The Pillsbury Dough Boy's got nothin' on me. Probably because since this pregnancy there are days when I've got more yeast in my system than he'll ever dream of having. That's right- I said it. And I'm going there! So if you are a man and you've taken to reading my blog (first of all kudos, secondly -thank you) but you should know this entry which will soon go from TMI to TMFI may not be suitable for you if you're sensitive to hearing about "women's issues". If so, then heed this warning, save yourselves and RUN don't walk to something else on you computer screen. Remember, once you take it in you can't un-absorb it. Now, back to the topic at hand. Thanks to my What to Expect.com, my CafeMom and most recently my JustMommies ladies ( See- Mommy Blogs My Godsend or My Curse?) I KNOW I'm not alone. But technically it doesn't matter how many friends you have in real life, on Facebook, following you on Twitter or in your head- when your lady bits are on fire (and not from desire) you ARE alone. Not only are you alone but you are searching for every, hopefully healthy & natural, cure for your USS Down Under (USS stands for- Unsavory Snatch Situation. Btw I just made that up- so feel free to use it. Maybe it will get into Urban Dictionary.com one day if enough of us bring it into everyday lingo.) Anywho- the normal route to combat my ride on the "USS Down Under" would be to pop an AWESOME little pill called Diflucan or the generic version that I don't even know the name of or as I like to call it "a little bit of Jesus for your va-jay jay" -cause you're healed like instantly. But you can't take that medicine when you're prego.
 So you can go the over-the-counter Monistat route OR you can try to find a non-medicinal but equally invasive route. Like yogurt. Yes, yogurt. Plain yogurt- definitely NOT the flavored kind- 'cause just wait til I tell you what you're going to do with it. Sure, you can eat it- but according to a doctor I saw on one of those shows that's trying to compete with The View, (Gentlemen- if you're still with me here's the TMFI part) you're actually supposed to take a tampon douse it in the plain yogurt (put it back in the fridge to chill- I swear!) then insert it. I kid you not! And when I tell you it works- well... I wouldn't be speaking from my own experience 'cause I haven't had the nerve to try it. But the next time I do have a yeast infection or as I just coined- a USS Down Under situation- I'll just warn my hubby to stay to the right side of the fridge.

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