Monday, July 2, 2012

"Didja Pee A Little?"

I wish I could say that was a cute little camp song that I can't get out of my head now that summer is upon us. But alas, it is not. It is what my husband, CJ, says to me not once, not twice, but countless times a day. What makes it all the more tragic is that when I say "yes" he laughs- lovingly and I hope sympathetically, but he still gets a giggle from it.

That is because in conjunction with summer comes hay fever which translates into LOTS of sneezing for me. And now thanks to whatever powers that be, I pee myself a little -- about 90% of the time I sneeze. 

Fortunately it's not noticable, I mean I don't look like poor Fergie during a Black Eyed Pea concert or anything, but I KNOW what just happened and that's enough.

You have no idea how I wish this was just a bit for my comedy act, but it's freakin' true. It's also another thing my loving "already-mommy" friends neglected to share with me. Sure they told me that AFTER the baby is born things "down stairs" won't be the exact same as they were PB (pre-baby), but NO ONE told me this s#!t was going to start before the kid popped out.

I literally now carry a spare change of panties in my purse- just in case. Before this was something I did only when traveling just in case my luggage was lost. (BTW that's an awesome tip for anyone who has ever to check luggage. It's also wise to carry-on an extra bra too- 'cause you never know when the airlines are going to F- it up. Just like peeing yourself it happens when you least expect it!)

Now, I look at ads for products like Poise that Whoopi Goldberg does and I'm like, "Um, Jessica Simpson or Tori Spelling should really be one of their spokesmodels- that would be just as realistic and it wouldn't make women like me who aren't menopausal yet feel bad. And I do feel bad- I feel like I should be able to control it, but I can't. I dread sneezing, but I can't hold them in especially when it's triggered by allergies.
Yes, it's TRUE Brook Burke and I now have something in common
The ONLY thing that does make me feel better is knowing that women who look amazing, have had tons of kids and seem to have it all- like say Brooke Burke- every time she coughs uncontrollably, laughs too hard or screams "Ah-choo" she has without a doubt peed herself a little too.

I'll be honest that definitely helps me sleep at night.

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