I WISH My Husband Had A Foot Fetish

The day may come in the not so distant future that I may regret writing a blog entry with that title; but right now at this very moment in time I seriously wish my husband had a foot fetish. I wish he was so obsessed with my feet that all he wanted to do night and day is caress and rub on them. I would be 110% behind that kind of abnormal behavior.

Without question my current stage of pregnancy is to blame for me having such a thought let alone voicing it publicly. But it's so true it's scary. I cannot stand stereotypes and have an equal disdain for cliches, but as my husband CJ, reminded me they exist for a reason as most stereotypes and cliches are based in some form of reality. Well, my current reality is that my dogs are barkin' and I can't reach down comfortably and massage my own feet any more.

After a long OR short day of "whatever"- chores, running errands, doctor appointments, performing etc...by evening I'm in pain and by bedtime I can't get comfortable enough to fall asleep without some sort of relief. I'm following everyone's advice (dr.'s, midwives, friends, my mother's) and I keep my bad boys elevated as much as possible but still that only helps but so much. 

Not my actual feet, wrong color duh! But similar swelling as shown by the left foot.

Yes, the edema has about 85% to do with it, the other 15% is that I'm carrying about 40-45 extra pounds around- hello! at 35 weeks I am officially 8 months pregnant. From what I've been hearing that amount of weight gain isn't too shabby- but that doesn't make my ankles or feet feel better about the situation.

Yeah, I know- this image is REALLY adorable or REALLY disturbing.

Which brings me back to my original point- if my husband were obsessed with my "little piggies" I'd be one happy camper and I wouldn't have to saddle up to him as I have every night this week to ask him to rub my feet. "Just 5 minutes Honey," I plead. Although I'm desperately praying he's not timing it like those little pop up Asian stands in the mall and he gets so lost in whatever we're watching on TV and he loses track of time resulting in my gettingto 10 maybe 15 minutes of pure bliss. 

I'm seriously so uncomfortable at this point even if he were into sucking toes and that could somehow bring me relief I'd take it. Is it right? Who am I to judge at this point? 'Cause right now it's about whatever makes Mama feel better.

Postscript- The conversation I had with CJ this morning after I wrote this blog.

Me: I couldn't sleep last night so I wrote a new blog about 4am.

CJ: What about?

Me: Me wishing you had a foot fetish.

CJ: Why would you write about that?

Me: Because if you did then you'd want to rub my feet all day long.

CJ: Yeah, with my "winky"! 

Me: Horrified look on my face.

CJ: Don't you know what a foot fetish is?!

Me: I guess not. I just thought it meant you wanted to touch my feet all the time for your pleasure.

CJ: Yeah, WITH my "winky!"

Me (disappointed) : Well, then that would be that much fun.

CJ: Who knows, maybe I'm wrong I don't know that much about odd fetishes, but I'm pretty sure my "winky" would HAVE to be involved at some point.