Now if you're a visual person, as I am, aren't you picturing a little old granny on a Rascal rockin' a baby bump?! Well don't, not just because its slightly disturbing, but it's also a false image. Instead picture me, possibly you or any of your other friends who are pregnant that were born during or before 1978/1977- cause that's who the hell that term refers to. I sh*t you not.
Sure you can look young and be in great shape, but if you're 35 and older you're not only considered "at risk" 'cause you're f*cking ancient to be pregnant by medical standards, but geriatric! As someone who doesn't look my real age (thank you melanin and good genes) and who's not looking to start taking Centrum Silver anytime soon I find that term truly offensive.
It makes me want to go off on a Bridget Jones-like rant from my bed. "I'm sorry medical society that I put my career first for a bit, or that I wasted my time with idiots who didn't want to get married or have kids, but I thought they did! I'm sooo sorry I lived in New York City for so long- THE biggest playground in the world where hardly anyone wants to settle down because they're constantly looking for the next best thing and people think if you get married before 30 you're insane! But just because it took me a little longer to find the RIGHT guy does not mean that I should be punished by your lame and cruel phraseology- I'm so pissed I don't even know if that's a real word or not!"
Turns out "phraseology" is a real word- I spell just checked it. My rage is also real. I think I'm most upset about the fact that I'm still young at heart, vibrant, full of life and energy (figuratively & quite literally right now) and the medical world is trying to make me feel like the Crypt Keeper. NOT OKAY!
I'm sticking with what Aaliyah said, God rest her soul, "Age ain't nothin' but a number!" Guess I should just be glad I'm getting on it before my breast milk curdles.
Thank you for writing about this. I am 37 and wasnt lucky enough to find the right guy till later either. We are currently trying and I swear I am just as mad as you. I feel like I am still 25. So why should I be made to feel like some 80 year old woman who wants a child? Congrats on being a still very young and pregnant woman!!!!
ReplyDeleteHey Wendy! I'm so glad you liked and can appreciate my perspective on this topic. It is kind of unreal right? Another term I forgot to mentions was "advanced maternal age". Who are these people? You and I will just keep on keepin' on as they say. Congrats to you too My Dear.
DeleteI can also relate to your perspective! On my 35th birthday, about one month after getting married, I cried because I was now going to be in the AMA or advanced maternal age category once we had a child. Like you, I have been blessed with melanin and some fantastic Louisiana genes so I neither look nor feel "advanced" in age. I beat the odds in growing up in a teenage single-parent home, became a physician, and have three degrees, including an MD, and married a Black man with no kids, decent credit, and no criminal background. Being a physician only made matters worse when I became pregnant this year and learned that I fit into the geriatric pregnancy category. I then realized that, like other labels society has tried to place on me as an African-American woman, this was yet another one that I refuse to accept! Keep posting because you help keep me laughing and motivated in knowing that I'm not the only one experiencing this madness.
ReplyDeleteI like to think we were smarter for waiting till we were truly ready. Yet society feels the need to call us old. My question is do they call 60 year old men still having kids Geriatric fathers? Personally that just makes me say ewwwwwwww. :) Yolandra congrats on all you have done! I have to say Yolandra is right about your blog. It has been an amazing find that keeps me smiling.
ReplyDeleteI think that's an excellent point Wendy! You never hear about people ragging on older men for having "aged sperm".
DeleteYolandra- I'm sure you didn't mean to, but you totally made me cry. What an amazing life story you have- so proud of you and so happy for you that you've created the life that you wanted and deserved. I am so very glad that I'm not alone and you too can relate to the ridiculous labels others try to put on us whether it's because of age, or race whatever. Thank you for sharing. Wendy, I thank you too. I am so glad that my little blog has been able to bring a smile to your faces and offers any solace that we're not alone in this. Thank you both for reaching out to me. I wish you amazing safe deliveries.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was at the doctor for my annual this week with the gyno, he told me that if my husband and I were even considering having another child, we shouldn't wait since I'm going to be 40. Do you think on my 40th birthday my eggs are going to say, "Wait! No more ovulating--she's 40!" Mind you when I was pregnant with our daughter at 36-37, all my tests came back with results of a woman in her 20s!
ReplyDeleteDude! Awesome stuff. Please keep writing more things like this. obgyn open now near me
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