Thursday, February 7, 2013

Motherhood: It's A Numbers Game

4 and 1/2 the number of batches of Lactation Cookies I've made so far.

3 the number of pediatricians I've interviewed and still haven't found one that isn't a complete ding bat.

2 the number of times I've threatened to beat my husband to death with  my  My Brest Friend breast feeding pillow for saying stupid sh*t to me like "Why do you look so tired?"

2800 the number of times I've Skyped with my family in Texas (a 3000% increase since the baby was born)

4 the number of jeans sizes I've gone up since having this little darling. (Let's just say I used to be a "perfect 10".)

3 the number of breast pumps I've had my boobs on.

11 the number of different versions my husband has for the songs "The Isty Bitsy Spider"  and "Baa Baa Black Sheep"

8 the number of C batteries we've wasted on baby gear who's vibrating feature was supposed to calm her down.

0 the number of times ANY of those things has calmed her down for more than 45 seconds at a time.

73 the number of times I've exposed myself to breastfeed in odd placees i.e. the Trader Joe's parking lot, Target parking lot, The Improv Comedy Club's back seating section before a show etc... 

12 the number of hours I spend a week at lactation counseling- although to make it sound more fun I call it Baby Breastfeeding Bootcamp.

2 the number of flights I've taken with the baby and the Chihuahua all by myself.

0 the number of times I'll do that again.

4,862 the number of photos I've taken of my baby with my phone.

2 the number of times I've accidentally dropped my cell phone on my baby's head while trying to get work done. (*Okay one time I was playing Angry Birds.)

7 the  number of times I've stopped and started this blog before I was able to complete and post it.

1 comment:

  1. It reminds me about Ama Ata Aidoo's poem Motherhood and the number game