Saturday, March 31, 2012
My Boobs, My Boobs What Happened to My Preciouses??!! I'm not a braggart, but I am someone who has always prided herself in having a nice rack. I was blessed with a voluptuous set of breasts coupled w/ a comparatively small waste- since about middle school I've appreciated their power & allure. I've gotten validation on that across the board from the gay men on Fire Island who've asked permission to motorboat me to the creepy homeless man on the corner who one summer told me that I inspired him to get a job so that he could keep me in a lifetime of tank tops. And let's not forget the straight employed men & women (mostly good girlfriends) who either offered up praise or jealousy- continuing the long standing admiration of "the Girls". They have always been a badge of honor for me; and at a modest 34DD since high school- they've now gone from Hooter's Employee of the Month status and made the crossover into Dog the Bounty Hunter's Wife territory. I knew something was going on 'cause I sensed it. I've been feeling tingles in "the Girls" for a while. When I made the inquiry to my husband at first said he couldn't tell much of a difference. Actually, his direct quote was, "It's like going from 500 miles an hour to 510." Well, that was about 2 weeks ago. In the past 14 days even he's noticed a difference. Hell, at this point, Stevie Wonder would notice a frapping difference! But I can now tell when my husband- let's call him "CJ", is taking them in cause his eyes do a buggy-thing like Wile E. Coyote when he visualizes the Roadrunner baked on a platter. And the cruelest of cruel tricks by Mother Nature on both of us is that one of my favorite erogenous zones has become a "Do not touch me there, do not think about touching me, do not look too hard at them OR expose them direct sunlight zone". If the cabinet door slams shut or the phone rings too loud I ache! What the hell? The crazy thing is- I know they're going to get bigger, but hopefully better. But I don't even want to think about how much new bras are going to set me back. So long shopping at Victoria's Secret hello Modern Maiden- or some company w/ maiden in it. Those are the comfortable ones for "big" girls right?!