Dear God...A Mommy's Prayer

Dear God,
 
I know that for years- even when I was a little girl I prayed for the day I would become a mother. 

You heard me and in Your infinite wisdom You knew it was something that I would NOT have been ready for in my 20's. 

That's why you didn't have me meet CJ until a few years ago.

I LOVE being a mom about 92.8% of the time but it's that 7.2% I'd like to chat with you about. I am now on my second baby in two years (again VERY grateful), but if you could wave your magic wand or whatever it is you do when answering prayers I will be forever in your debt. Here is my request list in no particular order:

* Can I please sneeze without having to change my underpants?

* Could I get more than 4 hours of sleep a night?

*Now, I realize this one is asking a lot, but could I please poop in private without my toddler or Chihuahua busting down the door?

* Could I have a phone conversation without someone shouting, "Mom! Mom! Mom!!!" 1500 times until I get off the phone and then I get the silent treatment?

*Can I eat one meal and not have to share it?

I'm not asking to be relieved of diaper duty or even to never be vomited on again, but if You could just let one or ALL of the above happen in the same week I would gladly start my own religion in Your Name. Amen!