Sunday, July 28, 2013

Let's Talk about SEX (after) Baby!!! Let's Talk about You and Me!

Hah! Now that I've got your attention and put that Salt n' Pepa earworm in your head I can share with you a little something that most new parents are dealing with. 

SEX. Well, rather the lack there of. 


Not for lack of wanting it, but for lack of opportunity. Why?! Because of this new little amazing person who ironically got here because you enjoyed sex in the first place. *Hopefully- you enjoyed it. Let's be honest there are times when you're trying to make that baby that it's just a "let's get the job done, Honey" scenario. #beentheredonethat


Oh and my husband CJ and I no longer call it "having sex" or "making love." Forget about "getting it on" or even "doing the deed".


Now that we are parents we call it "talking." Because although Baby Bean may not speak yet she does understand words. Call me crazy, but I was raised in the South and that's how I roll. So, for the rest of this blog I will be speaking to y'all with the vernacular that CJ and I use to speak with one another. 

Here are the top 3 reasons you will have much less "conversation" than you did pre-baby:

1. You're fucking exhausted (pun totally intended)

2. Especially if you're breastfeeding- you've got someone on your body or literally attached to you for what feels like ALL of the time. #sleepnursing So having someone else "bending your ear" can be less than desirable at times.

3. As soon as you find the time and the energy guess who wakes up from their nap or in the middle of the night?! So you either have to get a quick chat in or nothing at all.



This may sound crazy but it's almost like Baby Bean knows; and even the idea of us practicing to make her a sibling is unconscionable.

Without question, this can be really annoying; because you're still attracted to your partner. You want that closeness, bonding and FUN. But there are going to be times when you have to tell your loved one to "talk to the hand"- literally!


I'd prefer it, if like so many unfortunate new dads, CJ didn't have to resort to talking to himself. But it is what it is and so long he's not mumbling to himself throughout the house like a crazy person on a New York City street, I think we're good.


But I think I should be clear, I'd much rather be part of the conversation.

 *By the way if you enjoyed this and other blog entries would you please vote for me in the Top 25 SoCal Mom Bloggers of 2013. You don't have to give your name or sign-up for anything just click VOTE. Thank you. Here's the link:
*Vote for Diary of a Pregnant Comedian*

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